Tips to Resolve Communication Problems in Relationships

Many people tend to use double or mixed messages in communication. Double messages, also known as double binds, refer to a message where the verbal and nonverbal meanings contradict one another.
Most times, we do it unconsciously, without even knowing that we are sending double messages.
For example, you may be saying one thing while your facial expression, tone of voice, and body posture send an entirely different message. Mixed messages usually create confusion, tension, and frustration in a relationship. They lead to distrust and carry a lack of respect for other person’s needs and emotions.

Universal statements and “you” language tend to sound judgmental and typically provoke defensiveness and resentment in a person who receives them.
For example, if you habitually use language such as “You’d better…”, “You have to…”, or “You shouldn’t…” you are likely to sound critical and disapproving.
People don’t like to be told what to do, so “you” language typically provokes defensiveness, aggressive behavior, or withdrawal and keeps you stuck in a negative cycle. Similarly, universal statements such as or “You never…” or “You always…” tend to generalize a person’s behavior or character negatively.

Negative cycles are dysfunctional patterns of interactions that cause anxiety in your relationship. Being trapped in negative cycles and unproductive communication patterns doesn’t allow you to find a resolution to your problems, and it can prevent you from moving forward and healing as a couple. Many couples come in for their weekly session, work on their communication issues, go home, and experience more conflict and poor communication.
Most of us tend to think that conflicts are something bad that should be avoided if we want to live peacefully. The myth that kind people don’t engage in conflicts is so misleading, though.
You should not avoid your partner’s arguments as conflict can benefit your relationship if you know your cycle and restore closeness after a fight.
Conflicts can help you acknowledge each other’s perspectives and understand the differences and similarities between your needs, expectations, attitudes, and beliefs. Open arguments boost honesty and can help you accept one another.

Communication difficulties in a relationship usually leave partners stressed and frustrated. When two people cannot talk and find a solution to their problems, they tend to withdraw and lose closeness. Reaching this point in your relationship means that you would probably benefit from marriage counseling.
During the psychotherapy process, we will work out through your unhelpful communication patterns until you understand how these patterns affect your relationship and well-being and learn new, positive communication skills.
Regardless of the nature or extent of your concerns, I work with couples and individuals in an atmosphere of respect and understanding, without judgment. I utilize numerous techniques such as CBT, mindfulness exercise, and experiential therapy to help you identify, reduce, or eliminate concerns that interfere with your everyday personal and professional life.