Parenting a Child with Special Needs

From the perspective of the family, that child is the one that captures all attention: positive or negative. That child has greater needs that far exceed any imagined by the family that rushes to judgment. Why does this child get to experience the abundance of attention, affection, and adoration?

The typical sibling must “fit into a mold” that society sets as the norm. Just because the typical sibling was born without developmental disabilities, defects in utero, and has the ability and capability to reach his/her milestones on time, does that separate this child out? Does that child grow up in a world that he/she feels misunderstood, looked upon more sensitively, and sometimes in his/her own way feel like the outcast to society? Can that child develop socially and make friends easily, or is there less resilience that child envelope? Can other siblings that may be going through similar experiences, and are therefore able to fit in typically surround that child?

These questions often swirl in the minds of family members, specifically those closest to the children they are raising.

Society dictates the standards that families often feel as a sense of belonging and acceptance. Hence, their offspring are a product of that deconstructed reality. So, who actually loses out on those same experiences that other families get to enjoy, participate in, and appreciate.

Fitting into a mold is often constricting, but in this case it is about redeveloping the mold. Siblings can adapt, and families learn to do the same. Siblings become resilient, sensitive, and carry a greater sense of confidence because of what they grew up living with. Their environment is carefully woven, and their ambition is often set out to educate the world about differences, immorality, and injustice. These siblings even learn to fight down bullies, and become the protectors in society. Overall, despite the adversities they have faced being raised around their atypical sibling, they fare well.

If the so-called “mold” is something they learn to tolerate and overcome, then the greatest question of all is how can we, as a society, accept and reach the same victory?