Facts vs. Fiction - Eric & Erica Clear Up The Confusion
The desire to keep and grow a healthy couple relationship is at the core of why two people come together to form a union. In good times, it' easy for couples to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and to sidestep any potholes. However, when reality hits with its inevitable bounty of trials and tribulations, couples are often unprepared for how to jointly handle the situation as a partnership. Your partner - whom you viewed up to that point as "having your back" begins to feel like the enemy rather than your teammate. Quite commonly, the inevitable "push-pull" dynamic emerges and the underlying problems begin to feel more overwhelming and all-consuming.
As Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists who specialize in working in Co-Therapy with couples, Eric and Erica are able to restore the feeling of teamwork and unity to the relationship. Unfortunately, many couples never even attempt to restore, heal and rebuild their relationships with couples therapy or marriage counseling because of misconceptions and misunderstandings they may have about therapy.
Here is the truth about some common misconceptions:
The Therapist Will Side With One Partner Against The Other?
This misconception may have some truthful component to it. Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of individual therapists, human nature often causes people - even therapists - to show their biases or opinions. Eric & Erica avoid this situation because they always work together, as a Husband and Wife Team, in Co-Therapy with couples. In this format, neither partner feels that they are being "ganged-up" upon or sided against. Eric & Erica intentionally focus on spreading the problem among the partners since no matter how strongly each may feel, problems didn't arise solely as the result of one partner's actions or inactions and will not be "fixed" by the actions or inactions of one partner.
Eric & Erica Focus On The Actions & Behaviors Of Both Partners!
The Therapist Will Recommend We Divorce Or Break-Up?
Quick and clear answer: NO! As Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, we work with our clients as trained experts in the field of relationships and marriages. Our agenda is based upon the goals of our clients. Almost all of our couples co-create goals at the beginning of the therapy process to grow, heal and strengthen their relationship and improve communication skills. Sometimes, it also includes affair/infidelity recovery. However, we never TELL clients whether or not to stay in their relationship or marriage because while we are experts in our field - we are not experts in your lives.
The Decision To Stay Together Or Not Always In The Couple's Decision!
Therapy Can't Help Us - We've Had The Same Issue For Too Long?
According to research from by Dr. John Gottman, renowned couple's expert, "couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help. Think about this statistic for a few minutes. Couples have six years to build up resentment before they begin the important work of learning to resolve differences in effective ways." It makes sense that you may be thinking a similar thought: "we've been living with our problem(s) for so long, things can't change - we're just stuck with our reality."
Problems are an inevitable aspect of all human interactions and relationships. The mere fact that your relationship is experiencing challenges that have existed for a short or long time is not correlated to the ability of your relationship to overcome the problems with our help. Motivation and shared outcomes is the key factor to successful couples in therapy - not how long the issues have existed.
If You're Motivated For Change - We Can Help Change To Happen!
Talk Therapy Will Only Bring Out The Worst In Us?
Men and women often have different perceptions about talk therapy. A large part of that is the stigma that society has long placed on men sharing their emotions and feelings with others. When we first meet with a heterosexual couple, we often hear from the male partner that they feel weird or uncomfortable talking with strangers - or even their partner or spouse - about their deepest feelings. This doesn't mean that women find its very easy to explore their emotions either. In individual therapy, it can be a challenge for clients to feel safe enough to share and be vulnerable. In couple's therapy and marriage counseling, that challenge is doubled. Our experience working with couples is always based on creating and then ensuring both partners feel and experience a safe and secure environment - both in and out of the therapy room - to allow vulnerability to exist within the relationship.